prologue

This was not how I wanted to spend my summer vacation. Im sure Paule and Jess felt the same way. I sigh and do my best to look sane and innocent. Not easy. I really want to lay my head down on the table and take a nap. But didn’t the polices always assume the guilty sleep because they have no conscious.  Maybe it was good I looked tired. The chair im siting in is so stiff my butt started to fall asleep. I shift back and forth and it makes annoying creaky noises. So my choices are lesson to those noises or let my butt fall asleep. Great. 

Finely after the noises are starting to give me a migraine a  man who I can only assume is a doctor walks in the room. He’s wearing a white lap Coat but he has a Scoopy Doo Tt-shirt underneath. Which under different circumstances I would have found funny( and still kind of do) .

Good evening miss Jun. Do you know why you’re here? Says the doctor. 

Do you know ? Oh was that a laugh. I thought to myself. 

Sort of. I say. 

sort of? He repeats back to me. 

Well I have an idea why I was put here but I have had one hell of a summer so im not one hundred percent sure.

Why don’t you give me your theory on why you’re here? he said clicking his pen to start writhing on the clip bored. 

Does it matter you have probably already made up your mind. I said 

No I never Judge a passionate until im sure. He says writhing down something on the clip bord.

I wonder if he meant that. I thought. Or was he writing down passionate is crazy on his clip bord right now. 

Well its probably because of my little condition .. With my sisters. I said. 

Your sisters. He says back.

He flips threw his chart. I would have thought they already explained this to him but maybe he’s new maybe im just a freaken sciences field study for new student doctor to look at. Hey kids today’s test is trying and find out what’s wrong with this crazy girl. Who knows?

So I sigh and began explain something iv had to explain over and over again for years.

My condition. The word you call it is  split personalty disorder, also known as schizophrenia,  a very  rare condition usually brought on by extreme stress or a dramatic experiences like from a bad childhood. This is when a person’s personality literally splits in half, and they act very different at times, believing that they are even different people. 

He nodded agreeing I knew what I was talking about. Or maybe he just liked the sound of my voices. 

The doctor made a few nots on his clip bored without looking up. Then when he saw I was finished said.

Im impressed there are very few people who know they have a schizophrenia.

Yeah and im not one of them because I don’t have it. 

He prented to look confused as if he hadn’t already been told id acted this way. 

Really but you just said..

That’s what your charts say, because they don’t know me, I mean us they don’t know us at all.  

He sighed looked down at his clip bored but only for a second and said . You know denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Oh like I haven’t heard that a million times before. 

Real ordinal doc. Can I call you doc?

No. He said looking annoyed. 

well im going to anyway so there. 

Tell me what you know about schizophrenia.

Why? I already told you I don’t believe I have it but every one else does.

I want to see what you do know.

Fine well ..I’ve done a lot of reading about it . When your accused of having something you want to learn about it. Iv also noticed that on TV shows they often show the person being evil or crazy or just in voices how   cases where the other personality is evil , like an evil twin that lives inside you. TV of course tends to exaggerate, anyone who ever bought seven minute Abs or spray on hair plugs knows what I mean.  Uh .. Not that I think you ever bought any of those things. I add as an after thought. I don’t think spray on hair is even sold anymore. But I guess I can see how I would   fit the profile of having schizophrenia. At least that’s what all the psychologist  I used to say when I was younger thought. I think to myself. Probably isn’t a good idea to tell him about that.  

But you don’t believe that you have it? He said. 

nope. I said

You believe you’re sisters ghosts.... 

Souls. They prefer souls. I corrected him.  

Right souls .. He says . 

Its nothing personally its just a chines thing

excuse me.

Chines don’t like ghost well we do but if you come back as one its bad. A souls however id deferent its not just Chinese. The Jewish people feel the same way.

 I see making more notes furiously to keep up. And when did you first get this little condition? He asked

 

Well,  To truly understand my sisters and myself  you must go back to when we were all first born.  I said. 

 

 

 

 

The doctor. 

She’s not what I expected. She  looked perfectly normal from the outside and even more so when you talked to her. Granted a lot of patients looked normal but I could usually tell something was off after they started talking to me. She had a calm and relaxed voice  and it matched her faces which also stayed calm.  She tells me about her birth. I can tell she’s told this story before and its never gotten easier for her. I can also tell she doesn’t expected me to believe her but she not telling me this to try and change my mind or convince me other wise , she’s just talking because although this isn’t a fun subject for her she does want to talk. 

They had prepared me that she wasn’t quiet right but didn’t seem crazy or to be acting. They had also told me about her sisters and personality and warned me id never had a patient like this before so try not to be surprised. But what I heard surprised me regardless. 

 

It turned out  June  was born  a siamese  triplet of all things and was right in the middle of her two sisters. 

“There’s just more of them to love” said her mother who decided she  wanted them named after three of the  twelve  Apostles, because June mother  was a very Christen woman. Their father gladly agreed because he was busy making plans to separate them at the time, being  worried sick about their health, their mother who was more of an optimist and wasn’t as worried feeling nothing bad could possibly happen to three sweat babies, could have told him she wanted them named after the three Stooges and he would have agreed. The only  problem their was June father was a Buddhist and knew very little about Christianity, so when their mother asked him to pick the names himself as she couldn’t decide he simply  picked the three names he heard Christians talk about the most , Jesus , Paul and Judas, not realizing that two of those names weren’t used for a good reason and one of them was a boys name. The doctors meant to tell him after they saw the birth certificate, but after his wife became seriously ill from the strain of labor and the two others triplets Jesus and Paul didn’t make it after being separated , the doctors just didn’t have the heart to tell him, so they simply suggested  he give them the nick names Paula, Jess and June, which sounded more like girls names anyway. But it didn’t seem to matter now since only little June short for (June) was left after the operation, all alone with no siblings, or at least that’s what people thought. Jun grew up happy despite this hardship. And well loved by her father and older brother. She looked like a normal Asian girl who was bashful at times and I noticed  blushed easily if given a compliment. She had long black hair that came down to her armpits, brown eyes, and was wearing a long sleeve shirts and jeans which looked good on her  fair body figure.

 

 Jun wore her hair down.  She described her self as a normle Asian American girl. She wasn’t a girly girl but wasn’t atoms boy either. She like to read , and loved animlies. Most people describe her as normal. But June didn’t act normal all the time. Or atlest that’s what other people thought.  

 

Sometimes she put her hair in pigtail despite the fact 18 year old girls  didn’t wear pigtails  and she would act very hyper and perky. When she acted like this she was usually jumping rope and playing hopscotch. When she acted like this her friends called her Paula . Or at least that’s what she insisted her name was. Still other times she’d say her name was Jess, and  would  put her hair in a bun the way old librarians wear their hair  and would act very bossy and strict.   When you talked to her when she was like this you could tell she was anxious but in a different way then when she was June. It was a busy anxious. She was always  busy and looked very eager to leave ,when she talked to you to do what ever she thought was more important than being with you. That is until it was her turn to talk in the conversation , then shed go on and on  till whoever  she was talking to suddenly fell asleep or their eye’s  glazed over eyes shed keep going. Clearly she thought her opinion was  more interesting. She definitely  wasn’t afraid to say what was on her mind. If you bugged her or pissed her off( her words not mind)  you were sure to hear about it.

 

June was often asked about why she acted so differently  and she had what she thought was a very good explanation. June claimed without shame that her two sisters hadn’t really died when they’d been separated, just their bodies. Since they’d all been connected at one time her sister souls were in her body and  now they all shared it.  Obviously she got some strange looks so after a while she stopped telling people.

Jun 

I see. Said the doctor after I was done talking. 

 

 

I had tried so hard when I was young to get them to understand. When Paula and Jess lost there bodies after we were all separated there souls stayed with me. None of the three  of us understood how it had happed. Or why. It must have been because we were all sharing each others bodies at the time. Maybe it want just are bodies that were attached maybe it was are souls as well. Granted we all knew this wasn’t something that happed all the time.

Many psychologist, school therapist , and doctors had tried tiredly to convince us that it was all in are mind. Or rather all in my mind.

 

Look I know you probably read a lot of wired things about me in my file. But im just a girl who really misses her brother and wants to be sure he’s O.K. I said calmly. 

I understand. he said. Although we all knew he didn’t.

See what’s the point you don’t believe me. I said not hiding the frustration and anger in my voices. 

Its not about what I believe its what you believe. He said. Which in doctor terms means I don’t believe you.

Just tell me why you think you were  put  here?

In .. This room? I ask

you know what I mean , he says clearly he has no scenes of hummer. 

I just told you they think im crazy. End of story. I said. 

Well if this was a book it would be a very short story, id have to either return  it to the libbery or demand my money back.He laughed drily. I think he was trying to get me to laugh so id open up more. But he had a dry nasly laugh that you didn’t want to join in when you heard it. 

Yeah well my life isn’t a book and if it was who’d want to read it? I said. 

Well im sure even if it is never mad into a book I would still want to hear the whole story.

Oh that’s to long a story. I said. 

Its ok I want to know everything

sure you do so you can tell me im crazy. I said. 

Just start talking and will see where it goes. He said. 

O.k fine. Well I gess it all started on the plane trip getting here in the first places. 

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